Chapter 1 (Adapting)
My American Dream
I’'ve heard from a lot of people that the American Dream is currently unachievable and impossibly out of reach. To all the people who have doubts, remember that you are currently living the dream that many others would love to take over. I have come from a very poor family who were living from day to day on nothing but a bowl of rice to achieving everything that I’'ve set out for in my life.
I was born in Country X, and I’'m the eldest of three siblings. My parents and brothers currently reside in Country X. When I was only eight years old, my parents decided that— in order for me to have a better life— I would have to go to America. My grandfather was able to provide just such an opportunity. He was a POW in Country X because he fought side by side with the Americans during the Country X War. The US had a policy that let the POWs and their unmarried children come to the States. Because of this rule, my parents could not join my grandfather. However, I was in the care of my grandparents when I was young. Therefore, my grandfather decided to do something that never been done before. He took over my guardianship, and, luckily for me, this allowed me to come to the United States with them.
At the time, my parents were very sad and knew that they would no longer be able to see their son and didn'’t even know how his life would turn out in another country. Despite the difficulty of this decision, however, they were willing to let me join my grandparents because they knew that anything would better than staying at home. So, at the age of eight, I said goodbye to my wonderful parents and brothers and traveled halfway around the world. Keep in mind that twenty years ago, people were not connecting via internet like they are now, so this was like going to a strange, new place that no one had any ideas of what to expect.
As I stepped foot onto the airplane, I was very excited but very sad because I was no longer with my family. After about 30 hours of sorrow on the flight, I finally arrived in the US. Everything was so exciting and new to me. I can remember clearly that I found a penny from the ground at the LAX airport, and I thought it was gold and was so excited that I kept it until I saw my uncle and his family. They’'d come over to the US by boat a few years earlier. I gave the penny to my uncle and asked him if it was gold. I told him he could have it to buy us food. He smiled and told me that was only a penny, and, thus, its value was very little, and you couldn’'t really buy anything with it. I was a little disappointed, but I was happy to finally arrive in America.
The next couple of months would be the most difficult for me. My aunt decided to gave me an American nickname because it would be easier for people to pronounce. As it turned out, I would be starting school soon, and I still hadn'’t adjusted to the life without my family and brothers. Every night, I would cry myself to sleep because I didn'’t want to show my emotions to anyone. Even though I was only 8 years old, I knew that I had a very important job to do and that a lot of people were depending on me to do well. So I was willing to listen to my grandparents and start school.
When we came to the United States, my grandparents had nothing, and we had to depend on the US government for help. We lived off of food stamps and Medicare/Medicaid for a few months until every member of our family found jobs. Because we were so poor to start out, I qualified for free lunch at the elementary school I attended. Even at such a young age, I noticed that kids at school looked at you differently because of the way you dressed or if you had free lunch. The first day of school was very hard for me because I couldn't speak a word of English or understand what the teachers and students were saying.
One day, when I stood in line trying to get my lunch, another kid came up to me and pushed me out of the way, while other kids was just stared and laughed. This happened just about every other day. Because I couldn’'t speak a word of English, I was being bullying into a corner. Out of frustration, I went home and asked my aunt what I should say to the teachers if another student hit me. She told me to make sure to tell the teachers “"He hit me."” That was probably the first complete English sentence that came out of my mouth in the US. The next day, when I got back to school, the kid pushed and shoved me to the floor again. I went straight to the teacher and told her what I had learned from my aunt. “"He hit me."” She looked at me and told the kid to stop. Unfortunately, this didn'’t end the pushing and bullying. After a couple more incidents, I had had enough, and I fought back. However, because I didn’'t know enough English to tell the story, the other kid was able to get me in trouble by lying and telling the teacher that I had started the fight. He also told me that all of his friends would gang up on me later.
From that moment, I hated my life a lot because I was now alone in this country without my parents or my brothers or even an understanding of the English language. To make matters worse, I didn'’t like to show my emotions to anyone, and I couldn'’t even talk to my parents because a phone call to Country X would be very expensive. (I was only able to talk on the phone to my parents once a year on our New Years.) So sometimes I thought the unthinkable and wished that I did not even exist in this world.
However, I told myself repeatedly that my parents were depending on me and that my brothers were waiting for that special piece of chocolate from the US, so I had to keep on trying. As time elapsed, my number one priority was to learn how to speak English. Most of my time at school, I was in a room by myself with an ESL teacher learning English. I guess back then there were not a lot of kids that needed to learn ESL where I lived, because the town was so small. After my first year in second grade, I was able to speak a little English. I passed second grade with an "“S"” for "“Satisfactory”" in every subject on my report card.
The start of third grade is where I really began to adapt because I could now understand English. I met a wonderful new friend, and we are still friends to this day. He and his family had helped me a lot, not by giving me money or toys, but by being wonderful mentors to me and teaching me English. They let me stay at their house whenever I wanted to learn and play with their son. Because of this family, my life had turned around. It made me love this country and how wonderful people could be.
Even though I could now speak English, kids still picked on me because of my accent. Therefore, I occasionally got into a lot of trouble by fighting back. I can remember exactly that I was in so much trouble the teacher had to call my family up to the school to talk to them. This was not good for me because, in my culture, if a teacher called home, I would get severely punished. So I was very scared when my grandfather came to the school. He made me get down on both knees and cross my arms and promise my teacher I would never get into a fight again. I looked at my teacher, and I could tell she was really shocked by what my grandfather had done. But it was normal in my culture. When I got home that afternoon, he made me go to a corner and stay there on my knees for a few hours. I learned the hard way not to avoid fighting at school. My reasoning was not because of the kids but because of what my grandfather would do to me at home. So the fighting decreased even though the kids still picked on me. I just ignored them completely even when thought that I would fight back. When my third grade year ended, I had once again passed with an "“S"” in every subject.
The fourth grade was now a little fun because I could speak and write English, and I could really understand what the teachers were teaching. However, when it was time to take the end-of-year exams, my teachers always took me to a separate room and let me learn English instead of giving me the opportunity to take the exam. I asked my teacher why other kids got to take the exams when I wasn'’t allowed to. She replied, “"Because you’re not ready."” I refused to take “no” for an answer and respectfully asked the teacher to please let me take the test because I wanted to see how I would do. After thinking really hard about it and discussing it with other teachers, she finally agreed and gave me the chance to take the Math test. To her surprise, I scored in the top ten percentile. She was so happy for me, and from that moment on, I was graded as normal. So from the fifth grade on, I felt like I was really a part of this country, and that this country was truly my home. As my English improved, my grades in English, Science, Biology, History, etc. also improved.
When I was in middle school, I still had a lot of problems. Even though my grades were very good, I was still being bullied and getting in trouble a lot. This continued up to my high school years.
However, when I was in High School, the bullying lessened because I had now adapted to everything and had a lot of friends. When I was 15 years old, I understood the importance of an education, and I promised myself that I would graduate from High School, go to college, and find a good job to help my parents and brothers. Before I entered my freshmen year in High School, I had the opportunity to use all the money I’'d been saving up from my allowance to travel back to Country X for the first time to see my family. That moment when I was able to hold my parents and my brothers in my arms and tell them that I loved them was the happiest moment of my life. I told them how wonderful the US was and how the people over there were kind and accepting. I would never tell them about the bullying because I know that only a very small percent of people do that. After my visit to Country X, it was very hard for me to let my parents and bothers go and come back to the US, but I had no choice. Again, the loneliest moment of my life was on the airplane back to United States.
Chapter 2 (Realization)
The start of my freshmen year in high school I studied extremely hard. Luckily for me, I had my wonderful childhood friend with me to study together. If I had any questions, he was always there for me. I became aware of how the popular and well-dressed students always hung out together while the not-so-popular ones had their own group. I didn’'t understand why people had to be so close-minded. I kept on thinking to myself that if everyone could just be respectful to others and choose their friends based on their characters, rather than by their social class, we would have less bullying or conflicts within the school system. However, that was not the case. So to fit in, I wanted to try out for the basketball team in my freshman year, but I couldn’'t because my family did not have the money to buy me a pair of shoes and because they didn’'t understand why I would stay so late after school. They repeatedly told me that I had to come home after classes are over. So I didn'’t play basketball, but I managed to pass all of my classes with A’s and B’s.
When my sophomore year rolled around, I had a little money because I worked part-time at a local grocery store. Therefore, I could buy things for myself. This let me join the wrestling and track teams in order to build my resume for college. I enrolled in all the AP classes, so I could have extra credits when I decided to attend college. My first big accomplishment was graduating from High School with a very good GPA. Not a day had gone by that I don’'t think about my family back home. My graduation was when my parents really knew that the difficult decision to let go of their eight-year-old son has been the right one. The moment when I was at the podium accepting my diploma, I knew that I’'d do whatever it took to never disappoint my parents. They had sacrificed everything for me, and I knew that I could never truly repay them. But I could only do my best to be a good human being to make them proud.
Even on the first day of my college life, I had already set several goals for myself. The first goal was to graduate college with a B.S. in Computer Engineering and a minor in Mathematics in three years. While most students take a couple of semesters to pick a major, I knew right away that was what I wanted to do. The second goal was to find a good job to help my family and to bring them over to the US. The third goal was to buy a house, and the fourth was to buy my dream car.
Instead of partying like most college students, my partying consisted of spending time at the library night after night. I did not make a lot of friends in college because all I did was study. I took 21 credit hours almost every semester and 9-12 credit hours during the summer, so I could graduate in just three years.
Chapter 3 (Accomplishing)
The day when I graduated from college was the second most important part of my life. At this point, I was very grateful to this country because it was also when I became a naturalized US citizen. I could now truly understand that all of my hard work had paid off big time for me. The same month, I found out that I just landed a job a couple days before my graduation. So far most of my goals have been accomplished. Furthermore, because of my good credit history, I was able to buy my first house in my own name a month after I started working. Without any help from my family, I had a lot of student loans that needed to be paid back so I was very thankful for having this job. At the same time, I was finally able to send money back to my family to help them out with their life a little. However, my most important goal was to bring my parents over to the US, but I still couldn'’t accomplish this goal because it was out of my control. This was very frustrating for me; however, my life had to move on.
Six years after I graduated from college, I married the love of my life. Watching my wife dance with her dad when I couldn’'t dance with my mom was one of the happiest and saddest moments of my life. I just couldn'’t understand why the process of petitioning for my family could take so long. It had been over 11 years since we first filed the petition, and nothing had happened. It is heartbreaking for me when I see other families reunited, knowing that my family still can'’t. My parents have missed everything in my life. However, I have been able turn all of this unhappiness into something positive that has motivated me to be who I am today.
A couple of months after I married my wonderful wife, I decided it was time to accomplish another one of my goals. I decided to buy my dream car. Even though this was not my main goals or anything special, I just want to finish what I’'d set out to do in life.
I started with nothing, but I’'ve reached my own American dream. I have accomplished all of my goals that I set out to do in life except for bringing my parents to the US. My life has just begun, because I just found out that my wife is expecting, and a new chapter has opened up. All I’'m wishing for and hoping for is for my parents to see their future grandson or granddaughter soon.
Overall, this has been just a brief view into a true life personal story. I’m writing this because I see a lot of negativity out there in this world about Americans and people complaining that the American Dream no longer exists. To me, the American Dream has never been more strong and well. I’'ve heard and seen a lot of people in the media talking about how you can become a millionaire or billionaire even without going to school. It is great that our country allows people opportunities like this. However, only a very low percentage of people are successful without attending college.
As you already know, I started out from nothing and have had no parents to raise or help me, but I have been able to achieve all of my goals and dreams. I have often heard the phrase "“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'’ll land among the stars."” How about taking life step by step so that you can at least get to the moon? If you can’'t get to the moon, at least you can accomplish something along the way. Because if you'’re shooting too high and hoping that you will land on the moon, what happens if you miss the moon, too, and then you’'re left with nothing?
I had set all of these goals for myself at a very young age even though I did not know about it at the time. For example, before I stepped foot into the US, my goal was to help my parents one day. In order for me to accomplish that goal, there are many other small goals that needed to be taken before I could reach that objective. I first had to learn English, adapt to this new culture, make new friends, and do well in school, so I would be able to take care of myself first before concentrating on helping my family.
Chapter 4 (Thankful)
Case in point, I am just a regular, middle class American who is very grateful for my country to have given me an opportunity to live out my dreams. If I can accomplish all of these things while having no one to help me along the way, everyone else should be able to do it, too. Your dreams and goals may be different from mine, but we have one thing in common and that is we live in the greatest country in the world. When the economy seems tough, we’'ll have to adapt to it and work hard because it will get better. For example, if you used to make $100,000 a year and lost your job, don’'t be greedy. Take what life gives you. Take another job even if you only make $50,000 a year. If you have just graduated from college and have no experience, don't look only for high-paying jobs. Find what the economy will give you. If you have to work in a restaurant or a grocery to make extra money, go for it. Don'’t wait around for that special job. You all probably think that I’'m very lucky because I got a job offer before I even graduated. The truth is: the job only paid me $35,000 a year, and it wasn’'t what I wanted to do. But I was happy with it because I knew that job would add to my resume, and it would give me time to find another one. Eventually, I found the job that I love. Without taking that first job, I may have never found the job that I love right now. Don’'t listen to the so-called experts who are telling you to be aggressive when negotiating your salary or to be picky when finding a job. The experts are not in your situation, and only you will know what is good for you. The experts themselves have probably never lived a hard life so their advice to me is only really good for them. Whatever you decide to do in life, just remember that anything is possible in the United States.
Don’'t focus too much on the glamour of self made millionaires or billionaires. Focus on yourself and your purposes in life and decide how you will be able to get there. It doesn’'t have to be a detailed step-by-step process, but a generalize progression should do it. For example, when I first started college, I knew right away that my parents were depending on me, so I didn’'t have time to waste. I had to graduate from college fast. Instead of getting a 2-year degree, I decided it was in my best interest to take more credit hours and summer sessions, so I could reduce my 5+ years of college to 3 years. If you’'re first starting college and plan to buy a house after you graduate but have no money, instead of saving up every penny for the next 10+ years after college for a big down payment and wasting money on rent, work on building up your credit ahead of time if you’'re young, so you know you will get a good rate when you decide to buy. I’'m just saying that whatever you decide to do with your life, plan ahead.
I hope my story will inspire at least one person to never give up, and remind you that it doesn’'t matter what age you are because if you live in this great country and you work hard and are respectful and not greedy, you will succeed in life. For example, when I set my goals, my dream car was the last thing that I purchased even though cars are primary hobby. If I had bought my dream car straight out of college, I would probably not be writing this story right now. Do what is most important to you in the long term, not just at the moment. Also, remember that money is only paper and that the love of your family is the most important aspect of your life. When you run out of paper, your family still be there and will help you out. When you have no family, no one will pick you up.
Thank you for reading a brief history into my life. If I lost my job tomorrow, I would be okay because I could sell the dream car, I could move into an apartment, and I could live off of reduced pay by working anywhere. But I will never complain about the American Dream and say that it is not alive. Regardless of what others may say, I know there are millions of people from other countries who would be willing to move into an apartment and live off of $30,000 a year.
That is their American Dream.
Thank you for this great country.
